Surviving

The Cedars of Lebanon
(photo thanks to my son and his wife)

I now live part of the year in a retirement community.  I have realized recently that each of the people I meet down here in sunny Florida is a survivor.  At first glance, we are living an idyllic existence here with great weather, luxurious amenities and nice homes.  There are numerous activities which allow for pursuing any interest whether it be sports, games, arts, crafts or many other options.  One visiting grandchild called our 55 and older park, "Senior Camp".  Hubby and I have lots of fun here and especially enjoy the seemingly low-stress lifestyle.

The more I live here however, the more I realize that each person here is a survivor of sorts.  I have met two people who were children living in Germany during WWII.  One told me of searching for potatoes to feed her hungry family and seeing her sixteen-year-old brother forced into military service.  While playing cards, a man with a thick accent, told me that as a child he saw piles of bodies in the street and that the photos after 9/11 in this country hardly phased him as he had seen so much horror as a child.  My new 87-year-old Italian friend told me of immigrating to the USA only to have her husband leave her for another woman.  She was left with four children and went to work in a factory in New York City.  These three folks told me their stories only after my inquiries initiated by their beautiful accents.  Each one is living here in my community and enjoying life today.

I have been playing cards with some new girlfriends and have laughed and laughed and enjoyed their company.  One of my friends is nearly blind and so we use special cards that allow her and another partially sighted person to play the game.  Neither of these women ask for pity in any way because of their disabilities, but they do enjoy making "blind" jokes.  They are so much fun to be with and they are living life to the fullest!

One of my new friends goes to dialysis three times a week.  Although often tired, he still enjoys friends and activities.  Over cards the other night I found out that people I have come to call friends have had heart attacks and stents placed.  Some are cancer survivors.  Many folks here have mobility issues as well. 

One night at cards I began to tell my story.  Briefly I told that I had had over thirty surgeries in the past 14 years and that many resulted in complications.  I then felt free to share my personal philosophy that hard times can either make one bitter or make one compassionate.  I consciously made the decision several years ago not to be bitter and angry, and thus, for the most part, I look at my scars and am reminded of the power of God in my life. Therefore I choose to be compassionate, understanding, empathetic and caring to others--especially people going through hard times.  I hope that I too am a good example of a survivor for the people I meet. 

I actually began this post yesterday afternoon before heading to a card game with some of my new girlfriends.  While we were together the news arrived via a phone call that one of our mutual friends had just lost her son.  I had only met this woman three weeks ago.  A friend had told me privately that this woman had lost a daughter to cancer and a son in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and that she was a very caring person in spite of it all.  The news we received last night was that her last living child had been found dead in a nearby creek. Helicopters over our neighborhood in the late afternoon had been searching for him.

Those of us gathered for an evening of cards, good conversation and laughter found ourselves crying, hugging and praying together.  We needed each other.  Women I have known for less than a year shared the deep grief and pain we knew our friend would bear now that all of her children were gone.  Sharing the good and the bad is how we all continue on.

Survivors are we.  All of us here in our retirement community have survived any number of life's hardships.  The older we get, the more we have seen.  There is wisdom that comes with age.  Fortunately there is still a generation alive on this earth that is older than me.  I enjoy being with them because I continue to learn from them.  Even though their bodies are old and frail, they are as solid as the cedars of Lebanon because they know how to stand strong in the face of adversity.  They know that no one is perfect.  They know that life goes on.  They know how to forgive.  They live one day at a time.  They know how much we need each other. 

I am glad  to be here amongst the cedars in central Florida.  What I thought was a land of fun and games has become a great teacher.  There is a wealth of joy here in spite of (and because of) all we have survived.  I am blessed to be here.  This place where I can share my stories and what they have taught me--and--this place where I am surrounded by other "seniors" whose love, wisdom and support surround and teach me.