Hope

The sun suddenly left the sky on that bright summer day as I answered my phone while sitting in my parked car.  The joy in my heart of an outing with my daughter and her new baby was replaced with dread.  For you see as the wee infant sat suckling next to me on one of our first shopping trips, my friend had called.  She wanted me to know that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  "I'm so so sorry", the words came from my lips, but nothing I could say mattered.  Her world had changed, and because I love her, mine had too.

All the good times we had shared for over forty years came tumbling through my heart and mind as I tried to listen to the facts she needed to tell me.  So many things had brought us to this moment in time.  Raising children, birthdays and weddings and now grandbabies...yes, the thoughts came.  The friendship of our husbands and their shared workplace dramas...yes, the thoughts came.  Eating meals and playing games and endless laughter and listening and remembering details...yes, the thoughts came.  Illnesses and surgeries and things in the medical world that just hadn't gone right for both of us...yes, the thoughts came.   The moment my friend told me her news, my heart broke just a bit.

And as is her way, she had even delayed giving me her news.  She would have called the week before but she did not want to disturb my family reunion.  Yes, that's the kind of friend she is.  That caring more about someone else than herself kind of friend...

"Life just isn't fair."  "Everything happens for a reason."  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  Well, well, well...none of these commonly heard phrases seemed to mean a thing in that moment.  For all I wanted was for my friend to be well and to be my friend for the rest of my life.  

In the days that have passed, life has gone on the way life does.  Surgery has been endured for her and recovery has begun.  And soon additional treatments will begin for my friend as she enters the door of the oncologist office.  Healing will continue I pray.

And so my thoughts each day go out to you my dear dear friend...good and healing thoughts, along with prayers for strength and patience and wisdom and hope. May you find joyful little times in your day when you least expect to find them.  May the strength you have always had be continually present so you can draw on it.  May you be able to laugh at things that you would typically cry over. May your garden be a place to gather yourself and also simply relax in beauty. May your grandsons be a continual source of wonderment and pride.  May any fears be fleeting. May your family and friends know just what to say and do to make you feel loved and not burdened.  May you persevere as the treatments you need heal your body.  May giggles bubble up from some unknown place just to surprise you.  May you find that spiritual source of all goodness to carry you through in the hard moments. And may the sunshine and joy that were stripped from you the moment you heard the word cancer, be fully restored in ways you never could have imagined.

Yes, I am sorry that you are in this place, but know that I am here for you in any way you need me to be here for you.  My heart is in this place with you.  In gratitude and in love and hope, I'm glad that we are friends.