When I was a young girl growing up in a loving family, I thought that 65 sounded very very old. Now that I am 65 I think it sounds pretty young.
When I was young I thought that 90 sounded ancient and almost unachievable by most people. Now that my mother is 90, I realize it is attainable and indeed marvelous to comprehend that I too could reach that age.
Perspectives change.
I find it interesting to think of how my children see me now through the eyes of young adults aged 23 through 37.
Most of the time we are good friends and age is seemingly not important although there might be some joking about age now and then. We seem to enjoy each other and I relate pretty well to each of these four special people and the four additional people who they have come to love.
What I find, now that I am Social Security age, is that on occasion one or another of my offspring uses the word, "should" when speaking to me and I know that their advice is coming to me whether asked for or not. It is on these occasions that I say a silent prayer asking for patience.
You see, I feel that I still have all my faculties intact and therefore I do not need lessons on what food I should have in my kitchen or how I should feel about this or that. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and thus I usually bristle inside when I find myself in this situation. My defensive attitude rises and I begin to think that my children see me as old and addled.
Once I can reflect on comments I often try to disassociate who told me what to do and think on whether the advice was sound or not. It is indeed an effort for me to do this silent evaluation but it is worthwhile. Often I realize I raised smart, caring kids and their thoughtful analysis is correct or at least worth consideration.
My response gives me an idea of how my mother must feel now when I tell her to wear her boots in the snow or use her cane. My comments generally come from a good place in my heart and I am concerned with her safety, but perhaps she feels as I do when my kids use the "You should" approach with me.
Ultimately I suppose that I could just relax on receiving advice from my children and giving advice to my mother. I guess there is nothing wrong with sound information flowing from generation to generation as long as the suggestions are given in love.
Perspectives change--for all of us--and I suppose my children are not too old to also take a few "You should"s from me once in a while too.
