Ethel Mildred Papik was married to Albert August Witter on October 5th, 1921. I, their second grandchild, was born on their twenty-sixth wedding anniversary. This coincidence of dates always made me feel special. But then again, my Grandma Witter always made me feel special.
She lived to see me grow to adulthood, marry and become a mother. She held and loved my first three children before she passed away on Christmas Day 1980. She absolutely loved Christmas and it seems right that she arrived in heaven on that day.
Anyone who knew my mother, Eileen, my Uncle Joe or my Aunt Jolene know that even though economic times were difficult early in their marriage, Millie and Albert raised three strong people! Devout Christians, and dynamic, loving family people, the Witter's and their children left an impact on the world as well as in my heart and the hearts of many.
My Grandpa Witter passed away on New Year's Day 1959 when I was eleven years old. He was deeply loved and admired and in the prime of his career working for the Illinois Central Railroad. He had just left our home in Nebraska days earlier to return to work when he suffered a massive heart attack in Gibson City, Illinois. Grandma was staying with us a few extra days and was in fact helping my mother pack away the Christmas tree decorations when the phone call came in. I knew Grandma loved Grandpa immensely and the sounds she made when she heard of his passing told me just how much. There are some things one never forgets! I am reminded of their great love each year when I pack away the holiday decorations.
Now, as a grandmother myself, I can say that all of the thoughts of my grandparents are happy ones. I loved them perfectly, even though they were not perfect. I can only pray that my grandchildren will remember me the same way.
My husband and I coincidentally settled in the same community as my widowed grandmother when as a young married couple we drove to visit her and found model homes on display. On a cold, snowy February day we toured a house built on speculation in a new subdivision and made an offer that day. We loved living close to Grandma, as well as near Aunt Jolene and her family, as we made our first house into a home.
Grandma Witter was a great listener. In fact I believe that is the quality I loved most about her, even though she was talented in many other ways as well. When I was pregnant with my first child I attended LaMaze classes and shared the information with my grandma. She listened carefully as I was so excited to tell her every detail about managing labor! After my son was born, following a lengthy labor and unmedicated birth, I told Grandma all about the experience. I will never forget when she said to me then, "I wanted to tell you it would hurt honey". She always listened carefully and her advice, if given, was supportive and expressed in love. As she saw me with my three babies over the following four years, she listened to all of my ideas on breastfeeding and child rearing. As we talked together, she would tell me what she knew also. Conversations always flowed easily because I had learned from an early age from her about respect, love and trust.
In earlier years when I was a child, growing up in Nebraska, I spent weeks during the summer in Kankakee, Illinois visiting my grandparents. Sometimes my grandparents took me to their home on a long road trip. This was prior to the Interstate Highway system and I remember how loving and respectful they always were with each other. Other times, my Grandma would take me to or from her house on the train. Because she had employee rail passes we would have our own private sleeping compartment. This, of course, was a great adventure and such a special time together.
I loved these summers with my grandparents! My Grandma always took my downtown to buy me a new pair of shoes. I would visit the hotel restaurant, the Alden's beauty salon and the Merle Norman makeup studio with her. Of course we would stop at the train depot and visit Grandpa at work also. Every Sunday the three of us drove to St. Paul's Lutheran Church near the depot and attended worship service together. Then we would go to a nearby drugstore, and while my grandparents had coffee and chatted with friends, I could explore the store.
My Grandma shared many of her talents with me. She taught me to sew, both by hand embroidery and on her treadle Singer sewing machine. I learned to make samplers to hang on the wall and give as gifts as well as learned garment construction. She taught so easily and gently as she made learning fun. My Grandma Witter was an amazing cook and baker! She taught me many tips in the kitchen. We would oftentimes eat in the living room on tv trays, however each tray was nicely presented and filled with a balanced homemade meal. I still use the handwritten recipe book she gave me as a wedding gift.
After Grandpa passed away my visits remained a very special part of my summers. Grandma taught me how to keep a house neat and do a job well. She even taught me a little poem to that effect. Her bed was made each morning and the dirty dishes never lingered long in the sink. At one point later in her life she had fallen and broken her hip. After her recovery she required one shoe made a bit taller to accommodate her uneven gait. I don't ever remember hearing her complain. Acceptance came easily to her as she trusted God to help her through life. My Grandma Witter was beautiful inside and out. She always had her hair done nicely, her "face on" and wore a dress, hose and shoes every day. The days the "Avon Lady" visited were special. Grandma and I played many games and loved our Canasta challenges. She had a small bookshelf at the end of her couch and I enjoyed reading the Reader's Digest Condensed stories. I watched the first Happy Days episode with her. Grandma always stayed up on the current news of the day and I learned to respect the importance of journalism. I became good friends with the girls my age who lived on either side of Grandma's house. We played together often and were allowed to visit the brand new shopping mall together several streets away. After it rained we could splash barefoot in the water that ran down the street near the curb. At the end of each day I would sleep next to Grandma and as we said goodnight we always prayed The Lord's Prayer together.
While a teenager, after my family moved to Illinois, I saw my Grandma more frequently. I so enjoyed seeing her with my younger cousins. She taught me how to love young children and that as a grandparent it was okay to spoil them just a bit. Her youngest grandchild, Michael, could ask Grandma to make pancakes any time of day and she would happily do it for him. Also during these years the three families would gather together at Grandma's house for holidays. I so enjoyed these gatherings and time with my aunts and uncles and older cousins too. Christmas was the most special occasion and Grandma insisted on making the entire meal herself. In her latter years she made sequined ornaments for each family member as well. We exchanged gifts, took pictures, ate a grand meal and played games. Christmas meant family time at Grandma's and everyone looked forward to it!
Now that I am a 73 year old grandmother I think of Grandma Witter at specific times. When I am sewing on black fabric I am reminded of how she would tell me how difficult this task was. At the time I couldn't understand, but now my old eyes do indeed understand. When she would get in the car to drive I would wait patiently for her to remove her glasses and put on her prescription sunglasses. Now I do the same thing when I get in the car. There was a specific side street path she would take to avoid turning left on Kennedy Drive without a stoplight. I do the same thing. I too have a grandson named Michael. I don't believe I have made pancakes for him other than at breakfast time, however, he, along with his nine cousins, know that Grandma would do just about anything for any one of them. And when it is Christmastime, gathering together with family seems like the perfect, most comforting, loving, busy culmination of the year.
Other than these specific times when I remember Grandma Witter, I do believe she is also softy woven into the fabric of who I am. Unwavering faith and trust in God; expressive and unconditional love for every family member; understanding current events and the world; having moral values, patience, kindness and respect; spending time with and valuing young children: fostering independence and wise decision making as children grow; enjoying travel; keeping a clean house; overcoming adversity and loss; perseverance and logic; love and respect for people outside of family; enjoyment of books and games; understanding that listening carefully is the most important aspect of conversation; creativity and hospitality; limiting unsolicited advice giving; respecting traditions and family gatherings: are all gifts my Grandma Witter gave to me by living her simple, ordinary, extraordinary life.
Grandma was born one hundred and twenty years ago and has now been gone for forty years. In five days her daughter, my mother, has been gone for one year. Here I am to carry on. Here I am to love and care for my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my friends and yes, my fellowman, known and unknown. God gave me two amazing women to show me the way. I am forever grateful for His many gifts, and in His strength I carry on the great traditions and ideals set before me.
Grandma Witter your love lives in me and I will pass it along to those who come after me.
