Facebook has become more than any of us ever imagined it would be. Personally, I enjoy it for the most part. I obtain a lot of news daily from news agency feeds I subscribe to. I skip by the ads and have learned I don't need to read everything that comes through my feed. Most importantly however, I enjoy seeing what my friends post. I loved the end of the school year photos and of course the prom and graduation photos. I find joy in seeing your babies and kids. I like to hear about the fun you are having on your vacation and enjoy your smiles in new places. I appreciate my friends who post the rainfall amounts. I feel close to you when prayer is requested or an obituary or Go Fund Me comes along. I even appreciate the opinion posts that so many of you put up.
I will admit it makes me happy when you like my posts. And believe me when I say, it makes me feel closer to you. I have relationships with people I would not have in any other way. Friends from my childhood and brand new neighbors fill my thoughts as Facebook provides a forum for us to communicate. Many of my children's friends are my friends also and I absolutely love seeing you succeed in life and raise your families. If you are my friend on Facebook that means I care about you. It's as simple as that.
Delighted am I indeed to live in a country where I, and all of you, are free to say what we believe! I understand that we enjoy freedoms in this country that people elsewhere envy. When I put up a post on Facebook or comment on yours, that is an honest opinion from me and I believe it also is an invitation to you to give your opinion.
My thoughts ran deep yesterday as my friend and I spent the day together. We chose the excursion to the Illinois Holocaust Museum knowing it would be interesting but also heart-wrenching. Heart-wrenching indeed it was! Standing in a railway car which once traveled back and forth loaded with one hundred people at a time crammed into the space for four days hit a spot in me that words cannot describe! In fact, I cannot write any more on this subject. It is too close right now.
To my surprise there was also a special exhibit on slavery in this country from 1808 to 1865. Interestingly the other three people in our excursion were black ladies of our generation. Also interestingly enough, my friend and I both have grandchildren who are biracial. So as we walked through the exhibit each of us were touched in unique and profound ways. Seeing ads in newspapers of the time which advertised lots in reference to selling people was absolutely indescribably shocking. The entire exhibit made me sick. How could people have done that? How could people have watched them do it? How does anyone think this is not still impacting us today?
The lovely elderly docent, a Jewish woman of course, who showed us through the museum asked us to notice that during both of the eras described above, there were people who remained silent. She suggested that they were as much to blame as those who committed horrendous acts against their fellow man.
As you can imagine, my friend and I were tired physically and emotionally by the end of the day, having toured the Chicago Botanical Gardens as well as the museum. The day was a moment in time for us to reflect and also to enjoy our longtime friendship.
And so, after my day, thinking of all of you, I shared some very brief thoughts on Facebook...opening my heart to you.
Honestly, I had no idea my short post would generate a debate between my friends. However, I respect that each of you had the right to say what you wanted, and needed, to say. The fact that we don't agree is fine as long as we can accept that my ideas may be different than yours. And that's okay.
And thus the abortion debate came about.
I would like to state my personal thoughts on the subject once again. I personally could never choose to have an abortion. I do believe every person conceived is unique in all the world. My four children are precious to me beyond words...as are the four babies I lost when they were only very small embryos. At the time I carried them they were as precious to me as the four who grew nine months within me.
My experiences have helped form my beliefs. One of the children I lost was growing in my fallopian tube. That embryo was cut from me because it could have killed me if left where it had implanted. That decision was made between me and my physician. One of the children I carried to full-term could have been aborted as well. Twenty weeks into the pregnancy a blood test was performed, which I did not know about, and I was told that there was a strong chance that the child had Down Syndrome. The suggestion was to find out, and if indeed that diagnosis was confirmed, I could still "take care of it".
If you know me you know that I love deeply and with all of my heart. Telling you the above stories certainly sounds much simpler than living through them actually was. You can only imagine the angst and the decision making process I went through. Yes, I understand some things on a very personal level. The things that I describe above happened in my body. I would never want my government to tell me what I could or could not do in either of those situations. I do not believe the government has a place at all in decisions which involve a woman and her body. I find it horrendous to criminalize a doctor or a woman for making these very personal decisions.
Compelled to write this blog post in response to a simple Facebook conversation is a freedom I have enjoyed today. I don't expect you to agree with me or disagree. And I don't care how long you want to discuss it. I respect your right to do so.
I am still grieving for all who have been lost unnecessarily...during the time of slavery in the United States, the Holocaust or through abortion. I grieve the loss of my four children who had every potential in the world to make a difference, just as their four siblings still have the opportunity to do.
I will listen to you. Please listen to me.
