Tomorrow will be a good day! It will be the culmination of all those waiting days. In a sense it is the fulfilment of four years of concern and pain and doctor visits and procedures and tests and finally me saying yes to a surgery that really scares me.
Time is so interesting! Since August 3rd, when the pain could not be controlled I knew I would have to say yes to the surgery I was scheduled for two years ago. I had put it off as long as I could. Since August 16th, I have known the specific date the spinal fusion would be performed. And from that day until now time has mysteriously taken on a new character.
Minutes slowed and then of course hours slowed. I tried to continue being with the people I love and enjoy activities we did together to the extent the pain would allow me. But in those in between hours, time just seemed to suspend itself. Counting the weeks and then days until surgery became second nature. Today I am counting the hours. I'm helpless to the power of time.
Then of course, without fail, worry came to visit during those long suspended minutes and hours. Practical knowledge did little to balance the "what ifs".
Tomorrow will come and then I will know the outcome of the surgery. Then the post-op days will reveal successful healing without complications or they will reveal something worse. I have always been a realist.
I am also a Christian and so I stand today facing the future that only God knows and in this hour I will rest in the loving arms of my Savior and give my emotions a little break before they truly break me. I know that no matter what happens, He will have my back...and I mean that literally!
Thanks to each of the encouragers I have in my life. Thanks to all of the positive thinkers. Thanks to all of the doers of kind acts and the speakers of kind words. Thanks to all of the folks who say, "I'm thinking of you." Thanks to the pray-ers like Delores who I just met yesterday and to all of you I have known for much longer. Thanks to a confident and compassionate surgeon.
Time dragging. Worry creeping. Pain teaching. Love pouring. God reaching.
Life is so precious. Maybe time suspended itself so I could appreciate it even more. Maybe pain appeared so I could appreciate the moments it is gone. Yes, tomorrow will be a good day!
