Granddaughter

I have grandchildren who are living in my house. These children, living so close by, know me well and I know them.  We have a day to day rapport which runs deep.  I am able to delight in who they are as I know them so very well.  They will soon move a few miles away when their new house is ready but we will remain close and I will share in their lives as they grow to adulthood.  I will also be blessed to live in the same town with their new little cousin when he is born in just a couple of months.  I can't wait to enjoy those days of holding a newborn and then, as the years pass, truly knowing and enjoying this child is he grows and develops..

I also have grandchildren who live far away.  I only get a peek into their lives once in awhile. Recently I was blessed to spend two weeks with my youngest granddaughter and her two big brothers.

My little twenty month old toddler was shy at first, but a storybook soon enticed her onto my lap. Her warm little body and curly head were delicious to this grandma who had only known her as a baby. Now, going on two, this child had a real personality and I enjoyed each moment of getting acquainted.

Tenderhearted, sweet, gentle, beautiful, shy, smart, clever, darling, enchanting are all words which describe my little girl, Very quiet at first, I thought she had acquired little language but I was soon to be amazed that she could say almost anything she wanted. She made her thoughts and wishes known in a household of rough and tumble brothers, and even held the upper hand at times.

We bonded during our time together over toys and dolls, puzzles and books.  We bonded too sharing nursery songs.  This grandma sang and sang and also shared nursery videos on her phone.  "This Little Piggy" and "The Wheels on the Bus" helped connect the generations.  Her mommy was amazed at how much her baby learned from these songs. We had a great time and especially enjoyed those hours when we were alone together while big brothers were at school and mommy was at the gym. My baby got to know me and I got to know her.  

My little girl called me "Grandpa" which was yet another new name for this grandma. Believe me, I loved the name because it came from the lips of my darling little baby girl who I now knew just a little bit better.

I was indeed glad that my visit lasted over two weeks, because enough time passed that I got to see her true personality reveal itself.  But alas, the time was too short and "Grandpa and Grandpa" were on their way to new adventures and saying goodbye was indeed difficult. Now time and space separate us until the next reunion. My little girl will grow and change before we are together again, but hopefully a little bit of me remains with her and she knows how much I love her.

I cherish those moments we had together.  It's amazing how much a grandma's heart can hold!

Hearts

Two years ago I began a Pandora travel bracelet.  My first charm, the Eiffel Tower, was delightedly and unexpectedly found at a store next to The Louvre.  I had been dreaming of starting the bracelet to help me remember my travels, and was thus excited to find charm number one.  As time went by, it was lots of fun for both hubby and me to search for each Pandora store as we traveled from place to place.  It was not long and the bracelet was nearly filled.  The charm in the middle was purchased at Water Tower Place in Chicago and indicates our home base. On either side, there are two heart-shaped charms symbolizing hubby and myself.  Engraved on the back are the words, "I love traveling the world with you".  These were purchased on Grand Bahama Island after a scary medical crisis on a cruise ship.

I truly enjoy my Pandora bracelet.  Recently, after spending two weeks with my little three-year-old grandson, I love it even more for it will always remind me of him.

This little boy's name begins with the letter E and I will gladly tell you that he is energetic, exuberant and also exceptionally beautiful, loving and playful.  Being a middle child, he has especially loved the attention that this grandma has always enjoyed giving.  He is the baby who would run up to me waiting to be picked up and held every time I saw him.  He is the toddler who snuggled in bed with grandma when his new baby sister was born and mommy and daddy were not home.  He is the little boy who now sits on my lap with a storybook for us to share.  This child is often on the move, and thus when he stops for time with grandma, it is very special.

His family recently moved some distance from us and I hadn't seen him for six months.  When we arrived late one evening, his bright smile greeted me even though time and distance had separated us.  Day by day passed and we got to know each other again. 

One day I wore my bracelet.  As you can imagine, my little grandson was very intrigued by it and he began looking at all the charms.  I thought he would be interested in the London bus, or the camel from Dubai, or maybe the teeny cruise ship.  But, he focused on the two hearts and inquired about them.  I told him that the two hearts were for Grandma and Grandpa.  

Then my little boy said, "Where's my heart Grandma?"

He stopped me in my tracks.  What a profound question from a little tiny boy? It made me think of how much love has flowed between us in just three and a half short years.  I thought of his mischievous face that always, always has a huge smile on it.  I thought of the first day I met him.  He was so small and cuddly and I fell instantly in love.  And now when I least expected it, my little guy had proven to be a philosopher too! 

I know this grandma is getting carried away with emotion now.  But oh the love there is to be shared between grandparents and their grandchildren.  Each child is so unique, with all the potential to grow and learn and become.  I was so blessed that day by this little guy and I will never forget the special moments, like the one described above, that remind us of the loving bond we share.

Dear little boy, you asked, "Where is my heart Grandma?"  And of course, your grandma says to you, "I carry your heart in my heart, where it will stay forever!"

Giggles

Little girls live at my house.  Barbie's on the kitchen counter.  Sippy cups are in the sink.  Bath toys are drying near the tub.  Storybooks are on the couch. Crayons and schoolwork are on the dining room table.  Glittery little shoes are by the door.  Puzzles are stacked in my bedroom.  Giggles and laughter, peek-a-boo and "The wheels on the bus" fill my world.  My world is good.  Little girls live at my house.

I've heard the term, "Boomerang Children" but I believe that term applies to people whose adult children are struggling, can't find work and have come home to live with their parents and on their parents.  My little girls have amazing, skilled, employed, talented, hard-working, appreciative parents who just needed a place to stay while they sold one house and bought and renovated a new house for their family.  Thus, we all live peacefully and happily, mostly stress-freely together.

Therefore, our time as a family of six has been a joy for me.  I never have a moment to wonder whether I am loved or not with little kisses and big hugs abounding. Oh yes, there are fingerprints on the windows, the fridge, the mirrors and even on my tablet.  But these are magical fingerprints because they have the effect of making me smile when I think of the two little girls who left their mark everywhere, including right in Grandma's heart.

Little girls live at my house.  Twirling dancers in the living room after dinner easily finding their dance music on my phone are delightful.  Table prayers that end abruptly when a two-year-old says "Amen" a bit early to get on with the food tickles my funny-bone every time.  Making cardboard houses and school projects in the living room causes me to reminisce on times gone by. The sound of the children returning home as they eagerly call my name to find out if I'm home is deeply satisfying.  And when they leave and my little Meggie Meg says, "See ya noon" it causes glee for grandpa and me every single time .  Hearing repeated phrases like, "Don't let the bed bugs bite" and "See ya later alligator" reminds us that life cannot be taken too seriously.

No other grandma in all the world has the name I have.  It was given to me by my first grandchild, my Elli girl, when she was tiny.  "Own Grandma" is my title and I wear it with deep gratitude for the love it implies.  I have six exceptional, beautiful, loving, sweet, charming, amazing, unique grandchildren who live near and far.  I love each one dearly, dearly!  With grandbaby number seven set to arrive next spring my delight in that child also abounds so that my heart could burst. I am so thrilled to be in this time of my life.  I have been blessed beyond measure with the delightfulness of little children who are my own.  This is the perfect moment in time...those marvelous, "the grandchildren are coming" years!

Little girls live at my house.  Barbie's on the counter.  My world is good.  I hope daddy doesn't get that new house finished too soon...

Appreciation

Heading off for a Caribbean cruise with Hubby and my dear cousins, all the world seemed glorious. We excitedly posed for our boarding photo, located our staterooms, purchased our first yummy tropical drinks, attended the muster drill and then set sail.  All seemed right.  We did not have a care in the world.  The four of us were looking forward to four days together and time to enjoy the fun and sun of the Bahamas.

In moments like those described above, I honestly thought I did not have a care in the world. Life was very good.

Shortly after leaving the port, I felt queasy.  Even though the water was quite choppy it is unusual for this seasoned cruiser to be impacted by sea-sickness.  In just a few brief moments, after heading towards my room and only making it to the steps near the elevators, I fainted.  It sounds simple but actually as reality was melting out of reach it was a very frightening experience.  I knew I was losing control and thankfully sat down rather than fall. I awoke to Hubby holding my head and calling, "Come back to me". 

Nothing had ever felt like that before.  Through all the surgeries I have endured there is always that moment when anesthesia blissfully takes me away.  But those events were all planned and the lack of consciousness was a blessing indeed.  This event was not planned! How could it invade my "very good" frame of mind?

The moment I came back to reality was like awakening into a new world.  I was so amazingly grateful to be alive and waited patiently for help to come.  Blessedly the Lord provided a fellow passenger, an amazing nurse and a competent doctor to come to my aid. Apparently "the event" had been precipitated by a fall in my blood pressure and was not related to some life-threatening problem like a heart attack or stroke.

Of course, as Hubby held my head he did not know that this was not the last time he would see me alive.  Nor did I.

"The event" made the remainder of the cruise almost surreal.  Every moment in the sun on a gorgeous beach, or at the man-made marvel of Atlantis or enjoying the fun and games and good food on the ship was like a special gift for us.  Life was no longer just "very good" for now it was a true gift, a marvelous present for which to be grateful.  Life was incredible!  The joy we shared was immense and nothing was taken for granted.   Nothing!

On the other hand, without talking about it, Hubby and I both went through a lot of soul-searching.  We constantly thought what it might be like not to have each other.  What it might be like for our children to not have one parent.  What it might be like for my mother. What it might be like for all of our dear family and friends in Illinois and Florida and so many other places.  And we thought of our six little grandchildren and the grandchildren yet to be born.  The thoughts brought awareness and joy and gratefulness and a realization that life is good and life is precious.  It also reminded us of how very special each of these people in our lives is to us.

My life is precious to me and to many, but in that moment when I thought it could all be gone I realized I was still in God's hands.  I am so very grateful that He gave me more days on earth to enjoy. However, when that moment comes that my days on earth are gone, I am still His and the peace that passes understanding pervades my being.  I go forward each day in that security.  

I hope that you appreciate the life you have today.  Enjoy.  Love.  Feel.  Reach. Sense. Encourage.   Forgive.  Dance.  Embrace.  Cheer.  Laugh.  Share.  Imagine.  Celebrate. Enlighten.  Remember.  Try.  Live, really live.  Be present in the moment.  Life is a glorious gift!  Appreciate it! 

Calendar

Much to the chagrin of my children, I like to keep certain things.  As a matter of fact under my bed in a box I have calendars dating back over thirty years. Each one tells a little story of our life.

Every new year I unwrap a new wall calendar and as the days come and go, I fill the squares on each calendar with doctor and dental appointments, family and personal activities and of course mark the days when visitors are coming or we are heading on a trip or down to our Florida home.  

Now that we have been retired for many years one would think we would have many "empty" days on each month's page, but in fact, the opposite is true.  We have an abundance of activities to keep us busy.

This year has been no exception...and it is just half over!

The spring and early summer of 2015 will go down in our history as one filled with many visitors, one extra family living with us, along with new medical dramas unfolding in the background.

Calendars!  Yes they chronicle the life I am living.  I'm older and I tire more easily, but finding each day a gift and living it fully makes life exciting, unpredictable and amazing.

Time goes by and Hubby and I will soon be heading back to Florida and then be off on another cruise. These are the fun years of retirement and as long as we are healthy and able-bodied we will keep on traveling.  However, even as we think of the excitement and new worlds to discover, I relish all the memories I have made this summer.

As I glance back over the days that have come and gone this year I have already stored in my memory:  

   making birthday cakes & celebrating life's special occasions with people coming together.
   reconnecting with my little "far-away" grandbaby who calls me BuggaBugga.
   loving two little girls running around my house and the endless snuggles and kisses.
   showing off Chicago and enjoying the city anew.
   having all four of my children under one roof.
   planning new adventures on land and sea.
   enjoying another trip with the girlfriends I have known forever.
   appreciating the uniqueness and abilities of each of my children and their spouses.
   experiencing exciting house-hunting adventures.
   creating new memories with family who live faraway but touch our lives for a few days.
   trusting that doctors know their stuff, and completing my Medical Misadventure story.
   enduring unexpected good-byes with tears that can't be stopped.
   knowing that flowers and storms are part of life.

Oh, so many memories in six short months!  I praise God that my life is so full and so good and so interesting, but most of all I am grateful for each person I know and for their unique ability to touch and enrich my life.

The calendar is my friend.  It reminds me of where I have been, who I have been with and all the good times and hard times that I have lived through.  And it reminds me that I can keep on going, looking forward to the blank pages ahead just waiting to be filled and remembering the full pages which remind me of where I have been and why I am the person I am today.

May each of your calendar days be full and happy and worth remembering.



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Farewell

Oh the good times...what fun!  The people in my life are so precious to me. There is no other way to express how I feel about each of them.  I love the times that several of us gather together and I also love the one on one times as well.  Friends, and of course, my dear family, are the reason my life is so rich.   I love with all of my heart and I am blessed that God continues to fill my days with people who love being with me.  Smiles and tears, hopes and fears when shared with someone who care, are indeed priceless.  

Five years ago I didn't know any of the people in the photo above, other than Hubby of course.  I thought my family and long time friends, some reaching back to childhood, completely filled my heart.  How then, do I find room for all the people I now know in Florida?  How is it that so many new people can fit into my heart?  It is just quite amazing wouldn't you say?

As wonderful as relationships can be, now today the time has come to say good-bye. Hugs have been shared. Time and distance will separate us as Hubby and I head to the airport and transportation to all the good times waiting in our northern home.

Saying goodbye is oftentimes bittersweet. I plan to see all of these dear folks again as I travel back and forth.  So why then is it so difficult to say good-bye? I suppose the answer may be two-fold.  Not seeing dear ones day by day causes a definite loss even though phones and computers help keep us connected. Secondly, I know that it reminds me that the time will come when I say good-bye to someone for the final time.  As I have learned, living in a senior community, this may indeed happen and happen unexpectedly. 

I suppose saying good-bye to Virginia just last week makes me think twice as I say my farewells today.  Do you think she knew when she left the card table that night that she would never see me again?  Do you think her gentle sweet spirit connected with mine for just a moment as she placed her hand on my cheek and gave me an endearing look when she said good-night?  

I have lost eight of my Florida friends in the past five years and so when I leave my good-bye always says so much more than just so long...It says...

...I hope I will see you again.
...I always smile when I think of you.
...You are important to me.
...My life has more meaning because of you.
...Please take good care of yourself.
...I will never forget you.
...Thank you for being you.
...You are in my prayers.
...I love you.

I am heading home to hellos and hugs and kisses from my family and especially from these little girls.  I am grateful for my two-part life.  It is indeed rich!  I am blessed to have my two worlds and as long as I have so many people to love I am going to keep on loving when we are together and when we are apart.  And some day when we say that ultimate good-bye the joy we shared will far outweigh the pain of loss we must experience.

Good-bye, until we meet again.

Agoo

Every newborn is an absolute miracle!  The delicate pure skin, the eyes that can search your soul and the first sounds of communication are always amazing. Even though I have observed many babies before, I am in awe around newborns.

When the newborn happens to be my grandchild, the love immediately flows between us.  And this was the case when I met my fifth grandchild, Michael. In total joy, I gazed at him and marveled at the perfection.  Having traveled some 7000 miles to see him, I thanked God for this beautiful gift of life...and for another addition to our family.  

During the normal process of development, somewhere in the second to third months of life, Michael began to say, "agoo."  Now, I know that every baby, everywhere in the world says agoo, but what made this sound so special to me was the delight it elicited in his parents.  

Michael's parents were indeed happy and proud to tell me how he could make the sound with different intonations.  Indeed, during his recent visits, he said the word often and we all laughed, mimicked the sound and cheered him on with his communications skills.

I was taken back to 1976 when I was a first-time mother.  I remember the pure joy of each day I felt with my child (Michael's daddy).  Every detail, every feature of this little creature was the focus of my entire waking time.  The shape of his mouth, eyes and ears were detailed in my mind as I stared and stared at this little person in my arms.  I was fascinated too with his early language--agoos with many different tones.  Although tired and sleep-deprived, I was convinced that my child was truly the most amazing thing in the world. 

There is such a freshness in parenthood with the first child!  I enjoyed immensely watching Michael's parents enjoy him, just as I happily reflected on my memories of being a young parent.

The memories of my children saying agoo brought a smile to my face as little Michael visited us and frequently "talked" to us.  It made me remember how special that little sound is.  

Yes, I think Michael is just perfect.  I understand him well.  His agoo means:

     I love you.
     
       Thank you for taking care of me.

     Thanks for being patient with me.

     Thanks for loving me unconditionally.

     Thank you for feeding me, wiping my face, laying me down, picking me up,         changing my clothes, putting my hat on, taking my hat off, changing my           diaper, bathing me, keeping me warm, keeping me cool, singing me                   songs, and so much more. 

Yes, I will miss Michael's language now that he has gone back home, but I think I will forever remember the great discussions we had in the very early months of his life.

Mister Michael, Grandma promises to listen to you always...whether you speak in words or not.  I love you!